Eye Candy

I've been browsing my favorite store for some inspiration and found these amazing dresses. These silhouettes are so sixties (a.k.a. when I should have been alive) which makes me even more sure that Anthropologie is my soul mate. I love the bright colors and especially the use of orange.

Growing Up Is Hard To Do

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Now playing: Hillsong Music Australia - From the Inside Out
via FoxyTunes

It crept up on me slowly but by Saturday afternoon it had taken root. Discontentment. I tend to maintain a decent perspective on life. I have my challenges but don't we all etc. But in the times I loose sight of that big picture, I have been known to have something of a shit fit.

I have always struggled with paralyzing anxiety and it a definite trigger is allowing discontentment to reign in my mind. As a recent college grad with a chronic illness, working in a very stressful job that is not exactly what I want to do for a career, looking at an ever-weakening economy and confronting the reality of having to be my own provider (i.e. single) - even as I type this my chest tightens - it is easy to feel overwhelmed, restless, self-pitying, anxious. Discontent.

As soon as I realized what was happening, I quickly snapped my laptop shut, turned off Lifetime, hopped out of bed - and back into reality. I cleaned my apartment and did some sewing. I ran errands and did laundry. Most importantly though, I went to church Sunday evening where I was reminded of the most important and wonderful reality of all. Yes I am a sinner. Yes I am powerless over sin. Yes I should be condemned to hell. Yes Jesus' blood wiped the slate clean!

Quickly the discontentment began to fade. I remember that fibromyalgia while painful, has not crippled me or shortened my life. I remember that while I cannot see my future, God can. I remember to be thankful for the job that I have and not frustrated it is not my 'ideal'. I remember that I am actually very pleased to be single and that I should enjoy the blessings of it (i.e. a queen bed to myself and no one second guessing my clothing purchases).

I think that the truth behind discontentment is that it is based entirely on falsehoods and false assumptions. Just because that grass looks greener from here doesn't mean that it is. That's not to say that I don't still struggle with envying my sisters who are married don't have the burden of providing for themselves. It doesn't mean that I don't envy those who do not have physical limitations and get to do things my body does not allow. It certainly doesn't mean that I don't have anxiety about the future...or more specifically my future. But when I do feel that tug in my chest I will pop on my ipod and listen to this song by Hillsong Unitedwe sang in church on Sunday, From the Inside Out

A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
my heart and my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out

The Perfect Saturday

My perfect day. New Toast catalog and the new Ricky Gervais audiobook. All that is needed for peace in the Middle East.

Girl's Not Grey

Girl's Not Grey - by Neesi on Polyvore.com


My most recent color obsession has been grey. Everyone who knows me knows this since I painted my living room grey, bought a grey couch, I make grey things, wathch Grey's Anatomy, buy grey things, love grey things. I'm not sure what it is...but it speaks to me. So I decided that my first polyvore set should be a tribute to my very special friend grey.

No Rest for the Awkward

The week is done and I am looking forward to a weekend of calming creativity. You know, there are only so many children's stories one can read before seeking solace in reality. I have recently become painfully aware of the fact that children's books are all written by people on some sort of a bad acid trip. Cows that want electric blankets, bears that lead a distinctly civilized life from their tree house and a monkey that has clearly been abducted by some creepo that always wears a banana explorers outfit. These are the stories our children grow up with. No wonder America is stupid.

I digress. I am feeling especially ready for some de-stressing and rest so I am spending my Friday evening listing in my head the things I want to do. Finish hair clips. Clean kitchen. Work on bags. Photograph etsy items. Do some laundry. Find that freaking debit card. Get haircut. Geez louise. I am now getting stressed out by my destressing.

Sip cosomo. Better.

Another sip. Breathing is back under control.

Without sounding like too much of a whiner...I have the worst life of anyone. Ever. Including Anne Frank. Ok but seriously, being an adult is a lot suckier than previously advertised. Ok so it may not have been advertised as awesome but at least it looked awesome. As far as I've found, it's mostly awkwardness and annoyance. Added to that is more awkwardness. Yes well, a long week is now over.

Cheers to a de-stressful weekend!

My Natural Selection

I was strolling through the isles of my local natural foods store feeling pretty happy with myself. Not only had I managed to muster the energy to get groceries, I was taking a step towards a healthier life by trying to eliminate gluten from my diet (ok so I totally cheated on Valentines). Fresh veggies? Check. Natural meat? Check. Bulk nuts? Check. 32 oz. vat of Dr. Pepper from the local Sonic? Oops. Well you know what they say...baby steps. I'm going to ignore the fact that the drink gracing the front of the cart was my second of the day. But what can I say - chasing around my kindergartners kind of shoots my wheels off.

Today I only had Superfly because Smiderman was out sick. Maybe it has something to do with the loads of candy she poured down her throat at the valentines party. My two are often sick and so it's not entirely unusual to be missing one. They love it when they're on their own. They seem to think the more attention the better. Superfly was very sassy today and did not take kindly to me holding out 'danna tanna' (Hanna Montana) as a treat. It's hard not to laugh when he gets saucy because he's so darn cute. If only he could kick his habit of peeing on me. Oh well. Maybe another day.

I found out today that I am getting a new 'morning duty'. Due to my inability to be outside in the cold cold mornings, my new charge will be to escort a young man to breakfast and to his classroom. What makes this an interesting assignment is that this kid hates me and has fired me on more than one occasion. He likes to curse and talk to his imaginary friends and oh yeah - he thinks he's a police officer and tries to arrest people and write them tickets. I can only imagine what these poor kids think. Little Copper got on my bad side when he went on a screaming tyrade at my little Superfly. He screamed, "Freeze! Put your hands where I can seem them! Freeze! Freeeeeeeze!" Poor Superfly just went catatonic and climbed me like a koala. No problem though. I like starting my day with a good dose of profanity and miranda.

Hip,Hip...Hip, Hip Hooray For President's Day

I wish that life was one long weekend but alas (who the freaking freak says that) it is not. I have sewn, photographed, created, slept and cooked. Sadly my weekend is over and tomorrow I must confront the realities of work. Saturday I slept in (late - don't care to admit how late) and cleaned a lot. Sunday a slept in again (I have fibromyalgia you know) and cleaned a bit more. I also worked on some flowers for Prude and Prudence. Yeah well. It may not have been much but it was as much as I could muster.

Today I (surprise surprise) I slept in again - and I will definitely lay blame on the fibromyalgia. I worked again on flowers and the like, as well as my bags. I say "my bags" because I feel a greater sense of ownership since that is not a colaborative effort. I spent time with my family and then triumphantly made mysef dinner -triumphant since I have recently (sort of) conquered cockroaches - and settled in for some tv viewing - House, hockey game, (ok ok...Secret Life of the American Teenager), etc. And then...bed. Oh glorious bed.

It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean

With my long weekend half over, I am pleased with my productivity thus far. I have enjoyed two great nights of uninterrupted sleep (no alarm clock is amazing). My mommy came over yesterday morning (well actually it was the afternoon but I had just woken up so it felt like morning). She brought me some beautiful potted tulips (and a starbucks card!) for Valentines. We curled up on my couch and talked for a while which was very refreshing after a stressful workweek. A girl needs to curl up with their mommy every once in a while.

After she left, I turned into a whirling dervish of cleaning. I must admit that for the past few weeks I've been living in something akin to squalor. And I do not say that lightly. With about fifteen old Dr. Peppers and piles of laundry, felt, trash, shoes and who knows what else piled on my floor, my room was somewhat impassible. After shamefully filling an entire trash bag with the piles of freaking trash I had in my room, I had to refuel so I went out to snag some DP. I am proud to say that the health and safety administration would no longer consider my bedroom and kitchen a health hazard. Today I plan to conquer my studio, bathroom and the living room.

In addition to my excavation efforts, I also spent some time creating new flowers for Prude and Prudence that I will hopefully be listing soon. I've got to sync my ipod so that I can have to new Ricky Gervais audiobook and walk around my apartment laughing like a bafoon.

Things I Learned in the Tornado

1. People that live in trailers are screwed and the weather chick doesn't care.
2. Most people die from flooding not wind damage.
3. Reunion Tower can withstand 120 mph winds.
4. Cover your head (but probably not with flood water as that may increase chances of death from flooding).
5. I should clean my tub.
6. Watching reporters standing in storms never gets less funny.
7. Tornado sirens have signaled an actual tornado exactly zero times in my life....the only time there was the tornado on my street the sirens did not go off.
8. Apparently there are a bunch of weirdos in Dallas that photograph bad weather and then send their pictures into the news station.
9. Tornado sirens aren't the most effective tool when you have to go outside to confirm that the strange siren-ish noise is in fact a tornado siren.
10. Apparently Pete the weather guy twitters....about weather....riveting I'm sure.

Just a Pinch

Well I woke up Saturday to some extreme pain in my back. I thought maybe I had slept wonky so I tried to stretch out the pain - and ended up stuck in a very awkward position. So it turns out that in fact I had a pinched nerve. So I spent my weekend laying in bed in the company of a heating pad.

Thanks to rest, Dr. Pepper and some flexoril the pain seems to be fading. I'm not sure what I'll do if I'm still in pain tomorrow since my job isn't forgiving on the body. Last night a friend asked if I was going out. I laughed and said "Oh sure I'm going clubbing." She encouraged me, "Oh come on! You could do the robot!" Yes I could. But that's about the most useful thing I'm capable of right now.

My Ship is Coming In

I have never been so excited! I was transitioning smoothly into weekend mode - which basically means a lot of work on etsy and the like -and was posting new items on etsy. I happened to go to Etsy home and noticed they had changed the 'handpicked items' section. Suddenly, it sunk in - Prude and Prudence was on the front page! I scrambled off my bed to alert my roommate.

Next, I ran to grab my phone so I could share the good news with my business partner, my sister Anna. We were both needing encouragement (she had an upsetting haircut experience and I with my endless foggy-headed forgetfulness) and this was an amazing boost for both of us. It's always good to know that someone other than you thinks you have a good idea.

Superfly Goes Red

Today was slow at work. With one student missing, I was able to do more one on one work with my little Superfly. We had a ball going on a hunt for 'A's throughout the building, reading books (and looking for A's) and perfecting dance moves. Like most people, Superfly loves to have his picture taken and especially enjoys belly laughing at himself upon viewing. Today, I think I got a picture that captures the essence of Superfly - a never ending ball of energy, giggles and hugs. Oh and dancing. Lots and lots of dancing.


Another interesting thing about work today was that it was 'Go Red' day. I'm well acquainted with this cause since I participated in an annual fashion show for when I was in school. I chose to wear a red knit top from Banana Republic and a red felt bow from Prude and Prudence. Here is what some other people chose to wear:

1. One individual decided 'Go Red' means go freaking ape sh*t and spray paint your hair red. There was paint dribbling down her face even in the morning and by the afternoon her face was literally covered with red paint...so were her hands. It gave new meaning to, "Jesus loves the little children...red and yellow, black and white..." I always wondered where these red and yellow people were.
2. Another individual wore a beautiful red punjabi - accessorized with a glittery,light up, heart necklace. Oh me oh my, your ugly necklace hurts my eye.
3. One lady made the unfortunate choice of red shirt, khaki pants. I hope she wasn't planning on going to Target on her way home. (Ok so maybe my year as a Target employee influenced my opinion just a hair)
4. Lastly, one girl wore a red tie front shrug, a red dress, red leggings and red shoes. But what bothered me was that none of it went together. It was mostly just a conglomeration of all of her red apparel.

In closing, the moral of this story is that dressing like a crazy tomato does not help heart disease. People suffering from heart disease do not need to be shocked by people's bad taste. If anything, it could give them a heart attack.

Sick Day

Well today I did...nothing. My fibromyalgia got the worst of me and I finally had to surrender to the pain. I slept for over fourteen hours and then proceeded to lay around and continue my day of rest. I watched a lot of bad tv and never even changed out of my pj's. Today was a peek into what I hope to be my future - a much slower paced, healthier and (hopefully) more creative way of spending my time. I didn't make anything, or draw anything or even find any new inspiration in the Real House Wives of Orange County marathon.

But simply sitting and staring out the window today has definitely reenergized me and motivated me to work hard for the future. I have hope.

Inspiration - Perspiration

Well, it was inevitable. The day was most certain to come. I had student poop their pants today. Ewww. Like beyond nauseating. I was unsure how I would react when confronted with this disgusting situation and today I found out. And the answer was - dizzying nausea. Oh and a lot of annoyance.

Anyways...I digress. My actual point is that I have been feeling very inspired by my job lately. That may sound a little more positive than I mean. What I am trying to say is that the weekends and evenings are far to short and the weekdays far to long. I feel so at peace when I am designing a flower headband or embroidering a bag. I so look forward to the day when my days are filled with designing, sewing, creativing (ok that's not a word).

Until then, I will tell my student that I forgive them for pooping their pants. I will smile as I watch my kids learn to spell their name or play 'weckers' (checkers). I will be annoyed by my co-workers (ok so that's not inspirational). In all - sort of - seriousness, I do try to find creative inspiration in my kids and my surroundings. I'll be honest - some days (poop days specifically) - are harder than others.

Working for the Weekend

Considering the strangeness of my week with all of the weather craziness, my weekend has been comfortingly peaceful. I did a lot of sleeping and resting which was great. I was also able to get a lot of work done which makes me very happy. I love the warm fuzzies I feel when I make pretty things.



Last night, I thought I was going over to Anna’s house for a belated birthday dinner. As it turns out, it was a surprise party! I’ve never had a surprise party before so that was very exciting. It was a Mama Mia themed party so we indulged in Greek food (and wine) and settled in for my 22nd viewing of the movie. It was a lot of fun and we sang like the imbibing fools we were. I have a notorious lack of musical talent so I’m sure I sounded amazing.

I am enjoying building an inventory in both of my Etsy shops. Prude and Prudence made its first sale this week which was very exciting. I can’t lie – I will definitely be happy when I can quit my ‘straight job’ and focus on more creative pursuits.

It is becoming increasingly apparent that I live in a parallel universe at work. On Friday I found myself hollering into a bathroom, “Hang up the phone and go to the bathroom now! I’m counting to ten!” As soon as the words left my mouth I realized how insane I sounded. The day before I apologized to a student for not being able to make a shirt out of two feet of string. Working with special ed students is difficult, rewarding – and often hilarious.