My Natural Selection

I was strolling through the isles of my local natural foods store feeling pretty happy with myself. Not only had I managed to muster the energy to get groceries, I was taking a step towards a healthier life by trying to eliminate gluten from my diet (ok so I totally cheated on Valentines). Fresh veggies? Check. Natural meat? Check. Bulk nuts? Check. 32 oz. vat of Dr. Pepper from the local Sonic? Oops. Well you know what they say...baby steps. I'm going to ignore the fact that the drink gracing the front of the cart was my second of the day. But what can I say - chasing around my kindergartners kind of shoots my wheels off.

Today I only had Superfly because Smiderman was out sick. Maybe it has something to do with the loads of candy she poured down her throat at the valentines party. My two are often sick and so it's not entirely unusual to be missing one. They love it when they're on their own. They seem to think the more attention the better. Superfly was very sassy today and did not take kindly to me holding out 'danna tanna' (Hanna Montana) as a treat. It's hard not to laugh when he gets saucy because he's so darn cute. If only he could kick his habit of peeing on me. Oh well. Maybe another day.

I found out today that I am getting a new 'morning duty'. Due to my inability to be outside in the cold cold mornings, my new charge will be to escort a young man to breakfast and to his classroom. What makes this an interesting assignment is that this kid hates me and has fired me on more than one occasion. He likes to curse and talk to his imaginary friends and oh yeah - he thinks he's a police officer and tries to arrest people and write them tickets. I can only imagine what these poor kids think. Little Copper got on my bad side when he went on a screaming tyrade at my little Superfly. He screamed, "Freeze! Put your hands where I can seem them! Freeze! Freeeeeeeze!" Poor Superfly just went catatonic and climbed me like a koala. No problem though. I like starting my day with a good dose of profanity and miranda.